Make a plan.
Did any of you just laugh at me? Yeah, me too. The first rule of caregiving is that nothing goes according to plan. However, if you take a few minutes to plan out what you hope will happen, you are more likely to get close to it. So, break out your day planner, blow the dust off of it, and let’s get to work.
Spend a few minutes and ask yourself each of these questions. Be honest.
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What is the most important part of the holiday season? Do I prioritize a specific event, meeting certain people, eating certain foods?
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If I have to give up something to make things less stressful, what would it be? Can I be flexible and let someone else host, cook only my favorite things, or cut down the events I attend?
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What accommodations will need to be made for my loved one in my care? Will it be safer if only our closest family is around them or is it more important that we ALL spend this time together?
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If something unexpected happens (e.g. hospitalization) can we change our plans easily? What contingency plans can we put in place if I can no longer host or attend someone else’s gathering?
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Are there ways to make our time together more memorable or meaningful? Are our family traditions appropriate to the situation?
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Have I prayed over these plans? Are there ways that I am needing to relinquish control and let something else happen?
Next steps.
Talk to family and friends.
Explain your plans to everyone that would be affected. You may have to give specific reasons for any changes being made and not everyone will agree. Be ready for a little pushback if certain beloved traditions are getting axed this year. That may be the cue to others that they need to step up and help make things happen. No one should be expected to do it all.
Make a few lists.
Now that everyone has their assignments, make your shopping and to-do lists. Holidays are so much easier without multiple stops in crowded stores. Plan on one person who is going to be the gopher if you all forget the pumpkin pie.
Be flexible.
I cannot begin to say how important this is. Your plans may not happen just as you want them to. Don’t let it steal the joy of the season if the exact cookie you wanted didn’t make its way to the table. I have seen families celebrate in hospital rooms. I have seen some families wait until February for Christmas because everyone could finally be together. Be ready to pivot and be thankful for everything God has given you.
